The Misadventures of Pocketknife and Rainman

    Truth be told, it was actually kind of a spur of the moment thing that got me headed into this little foray. I had seen all of the e-mails that were sent to and fro, with folks looking to see who all else would be heading out likewise. I just didn't think that I had the time to go. But after visiting one of the aforementioned e-mail senders and partaking of his new found prize, I thought on the way home that it might be something fun to do. If I could clear enough room from my all too full plate, that is.

    

    The next day, I tried to give it some serious thought. I looked at my schedule and didn't see alot there. I only had 3 cars and a motorhome that needed a bath. The grass was only slightly above my ankles. I could still see the dogs in the yard, so  I wasn't really concerned. After a half day off on monday playing golf with the boss, I was only 3 days behind at work. My half finished project that's about 2 months away from being complete can probably actually get done in 2 weeks if I will just really "buckle down". And since my wife and daughter were perfectly capable of packing everything that could possibly be needed for our Disney trip next week all by themselves. (I do get in the way alot) It appeared to me that the rest of the week was plenty clear for a road trip.

   

    I went ahead and called Rainman to see if he really needed a partner for the drive. No sense bothering the wife until I knew that I was needed. He said yes, and that he wanted to leave the next afternoon. I told him that I would get back with him shortly to decide where to meet as soon as I "Informed" the wife as to our plans. (Honey pleeeeeeeeeaaase?????? He really needs someone to help on the long drive.......you know the drill...) She said OK. 

   

    We met the next afternoon. We ate, he drove, we pee'd, he drove, we got gas, I pee'd again, he drove, blah, blah, blah, we're there.

   

    Now when I say that this hotel had a little to be desired, let me explain. The roach's that are in this place only stay there because they get a discount! After arguing with the clerk as to why Rainman and me ain't comfortable together in a queen bed (how 'bout those Bears?), we finally got a room with two beds. The first room wasn't quite up to par. Unidentifiable stains in a bunch of places and one bed was listing like a battleship with a torpedo hole on the starboard side. Called the clerk, new room, much better. At least both beds were on an even keel and the stains were mostly in places that we didn't have to cross. Oops, almost forgot. The other bed in the first room don't got no sheets on it neither.

   

    I woke up the next morning to Rainman walking back into the room with two steaming hot cups of coffee. And yes, thank the lord, one was for me. Even had cream and sugar. Have you ever heard anybody snore with a Venezuelan accent? Me neither, but I have now. We s--t, we shower & shave, we're off to see the wizard. (the "Cruze" is what I think they call it now, though)

 

    As we headed out in the car, there was still a little morning dew in the air. The sun was up but it was still a little crisp outside. Too cool to roll the windows all the way down, but we only needed a little on each side to let the smoke out. We arrived and discovered that we had made it just early enough to get past the cop who was getting out of his car to start causing the ritual traffic snarl at the gate. You know sometimes I think we should do like some of the european countries do and get rid of all the light's, sign's and traffic cops. Without them, everyone actually has to pay attention to where they're going. Oh well, sorry, sometimes I rant. My medication does help though.

 

    When we parked the car we were greeted with the sights and sounds of several strange aerial creatures over head. They all appeared to be the survivors of some unseen airborne (get it?) accident, and were gently floating back to earth. Funny thing though, they were all headed back up?!? Some riders had their feet dangling underneath, some were in some kind of cage, and a couple looked like they had brought a friend. Lots of pretty colors too. They didn't really appeal to me all that much though. They were really slow and the wind kept whipping them around a bunch. Little did I know that that was the last time that I would get to see them up there all weekend.

 

    We walk, we pee, we walk, we gain entrance, we walk, we walk again, we walk some more, we keep walking, then we arrive. There it is, right in front of us, Paradise City. Man, am I ever glad that I came. Got to pee again. Maybe I need to see somebody about this?

 

    Now that we had finally made it to paradise, we were greeted with even more wierd, but somehow appealing strangities. They've got more toys in here than you can shake a stick at.

 

    They had a bunch of new plastic one's, but honestly, I didn't care for them very much. They were way over priced and I just couldn't see the benefit. They had a pretty good bit of the one's that I was use to seeing, but they also had a few new one's that I hadn't seen before. They had a whole bunch of the ones that had what looked like two arms sticking out and a tail, but I was really, actually, kinda secretly there just to look at the one's with the big thing on top that was shaped like a great big Dorito's tater chip. They are really my favorite, but since I had recently sold the one that use to like and now I have one with a tail, I had to kinda pretend that I wasn't too interested. I wonder if anybody noticed me looking?

 

    Of the kind that I didn't really care about, they did have a few interesting one's. They had some that looked like they came from either the first or second big war. Those were kinda cool. Some were big enough for one, some you could bring a friend. Some were made of wood, most weren't though. I saw one that somebody was in that was actually smaller than a toy one that I had when I was a wee little tot. Wow! (that guy had to have a set of big one's!!) I even saw some that could float. Oh well, still not really my cup of tea.

 

    Now, there were a lot of toy's of the earlier stated tater chip variety that I liked. Now we're talking. 

   

    Two young guys brought one that looked really fast. I actually got to get in it later that day and it was even faster than it looked. Just don't turn loose of the loud pedal or you're headed down pretty quickly.

 

    The Aussie's were there with their toys. They even had three of the big, bad one's. Two red, and a blue one if my memory serves me correctly. One of the red ones was even going to get to go home with Bushog. I know that he was proud. Nice folks those Aussie's. I really enjoyed hanging out with them, especially since I had a bunch of my friends hanging out there too. Rainman is actually an Aussie. Well, half Aussie, for the time being anyway. Catkiller and his lady were there. He's an Aussie. I think he's secretly thinking about converting to Britishism. Thats what Rainman told me anyway. Rainman's already half British or did I mention that before? Wheelbarrow and Junebug were there. He's definately an Aussie, but Junebug is actually......dare I say it.... shhh.......french ???? She use to be British before though, up until only recently, so I guess she can still be saved. (Sorry, I don't care too much for the french. Their toys are way too heavy and expensive, they talked down to me about the British one that I had before, and they kinda smell funny)

   

    There were some locally made toys in paradise. One of them from the sunshine state gets built in a guys garage and he sells them as if he's an expert or something. I ain't heard too much good about them yet. Oh well, maybe he'll be able to walk the walk as good as he talk's the talk some day. I hope so. There was also a guy showing his toys that came from the same state as a really big car race. Really nice guy. He sounded kinda Scottish, but his toy looked British. That is to say, British with a whole bunch of really neat improvements. I was impressed. I like British. British is good. I want another British one. But, if they can make the Scottish/British better one faster, I would much rather have it. (I hate long distance calls when I have a question) To me, the Scottish/British toy was the best looking one there. (At the time I'm typing this I now have a British one again. Thanks Jet Jockey!!!)

 

    There were a bunch of toy makers missing. Oh well, maybe they'll be there next year.

 

    I got to meet some of the toy royalty while I was in paradise. I had heard of most of them and had talked to some over the phone. It was really nice to finally get to meet them. I'm already looking forward to getting to see them again in the future.

 

    Well, maybe I'll get a chance In the next few days to continue this little yarn. I hope that I haven't bored any of you too much with my mastery of the engris langwage.

    No animals were harmed much in the writing of this story. Please return your seat backs, tray tables and stewardesses to their upright and locked position.

    Catch ya later,

    Pocketknife